Dad, the life-long atheist, sitting in front of the computer after doing a Google search:

Dad: There’s one other Michael Valdenstein in the country, and he’s an evangelical preacher.

Me: That’s ironic…

Dad: He’s tried to get in touch with me, saying, “oh, are we related?” Ugh…. I need to change my name now.

Me: What are you going to change it to?

Dad: Michael Goddamn Valdenstein.