My parents just remodeled their bathroom. It’s beautiful and modern. My dad surprised my mom with a new room heater to finish it off.

Mom: What is that, a robot?!
Dad. No, it was designed in Switzerland!
Mom: It looks like a baby. We’re not putting it in the bathroom. 
Dad: I like it! Bonnee, it fits perfectly. 
Mom: You can sleep with it if you want. (To me) Look how he’s cradling it!

At Tibetan Corner in the Haight:

My Dad dragged us in there looking for a hat. He was sold on the first one he tried on – a knit rainbow patchy one with ear coverings. 

Dad: Bonnee, look! What do you think?
Mom: Michael, no!
Dad: What?! I like it. I’m gonna get it (Starts walking to register)
Mom following behind: Michael. Nooo! You can’t wear that!

He bought the hat, wore it on the walk back to the car, and all the way through the night, while sitting at his computer, until he went to sleep. Then he never wore it again.

My parents have found that they love wearing Indian clothing. They brought back a bunch from their trip. Here they are about to head to an Italian restaurant:

My parents brought back some art from India. They gave me a nice image from Dharmsala of a mandala. And kept an even nicer one for themselves.

Looking at the newly framed image on the wall:

Me: Dad, can I have this?

Dad: No.

Me: Gah… I want it.

Dad: Tough shit. You can have it when I’m dead.

Dad, the life-long atheist, sitting in front of the computer after doing a Google search:

Dad: There’s one other Michael Valdenstein in the country, and he’s an evangelical preacher.

Me: That’s ironic…

Dad: He’s tried to get in touch with me, saying, “oh, are we related?” Ugh…. I need to change my name now.

Me: What are you going to change it to?

Dad: Michael Goddamn Valdenstein.

This is what happens when the smoke alarm in the kitchen is hooked up to the home security system.

 

A film I made for my company was premiered at a big event in Anaheim. My parents were invited to view it.

(At the cocktail reception before the show, in a crowded room with company management and owners):

Me: Nice suit!

Dad: This is the same suit I wore when I met the Dalai Lama. It touched him.

Me: Oh yeah?

Dad: Yeah. Don’t you want to touch it now? Here… (leans against me and rubs his shoulder against my upper arm for a few moments.)

Me: You look really weird, what you’re doing right now… you sure you want to do this in front of everybody?

(My parents toured India with my boyfriend’s parents. His dad was chairman of Telecom in India and was able to arrange an hour long meeting with the Dalai Lama!)

I called up my parents this morning to say hello. They both got on the line:

Mom: Hell-ooo! We just got new a new phone. I programmed it to play Merry Christmas when you call! (giggles)
Me: Merry Christmas?! Why?
Dad: Because you’re like one of Santa’s little helpers, with your rosy cheeks. You’re like an elf.

Sunday night dinner at my parents’:

My mom called my dad to the table several times, before going into the den to ask him why he was ignoring her. When she came back, I asked what the hold up was. “He’s watching Transformers.”